


Does it Even Matter Anyway? (Larry Stylinson)

by larry_love23, SullenLarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Anorexic Harry, Bottom Harry, BoyxBoy, Dark, Eating Disorders, Emotional Rollercoaster, Fluff, Kinky, M/M, Medicine, Recovery, Sexy, Top Louis, daddy - Freeform, drama romance, larry stylinson - Freeform, mental health, postmalone, zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:08:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larry_love23/pseuds/larry_love23, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SullenLarry/pseuds/SullenLarry
Summary: Nothing seems to matter anymore in Harry's life. Not his job, not his house, not his hobbies. What does matter is calories. Or rather, consuming as little calories as possible. What starts as a simple diet quickly turns into an obsession and Harry finds himself more lost and empty than ever. But what happens when he starts to hang out with a new group of friends? Will they help him rise above his demons or pull him down into his rut even further?Or a Larry Stylinson story featuring Post Malone and a bunch of other juicy romances, bromances and love triangles.Trigger warning: eating disorders, mental health issues





	1. All the smiles that I’m faking

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Harry said. He quickly walked over to where the group was gathered in the back of the coffee shop and took a seat next to Niall, the only person he even remotely knew. 

“No worries, mate. It’s Harry, right?” Niall replied, giving him a handshake. 

“Yeah,” Harry replied quietly. He fiddled with his beanie and then turned to the group. “What were we talking about?”

“Oh, we were just saying how we wanted to do it at this bar near Liam’s house,” a dark haired man responded. “It’s the perfect venue because it’s usually not too crowded.”

“Yeah, and they have the best Guinness,” Niall replied with a grin. His blue eyes looked bright in contrast with his dark hair, and his arms boasted of sinewy bicep muscles. Harry glanced at him, eyeing the Frappuccino he was drinking warily. Who could carelessly consume so many calories and still be so fit?...

Harry’s thoughts were interrupted, however, when a short brunette man rushed over to their corner of the cafe, holding his laptop in the air with both hands. 

“I made the Facebook group!” he said with a flashy smile. 

“Thanks for the announcement, Louis,” the dark haired man said, running a hand over his stubble. “But isn’t the whole point of making a Facebook group so you don’t have to talk about the event in person?”

Louis. 

Harry had forgotten about Louis. Like Niall, Harry had met him before, a long time ago at a kickback at Liam’s house. Back then, Harry had been a lot more social and with a few beers in his system, he was fully prepared to ask Louis back to his place. 

Unfortunately, he passed out on one of Liam’s pool floats before he got around to doing it. But Louis was just as attractive than as he was now, with his big blue eyes, his chiseled jaw, his feathery brown hair. He was definitely a sight to see, and Harry began to feel the same nervous excitement bubbling in his chest that he did the night of the party so many moons ago  
.   
“Well,” Louis bellowed, sitting down next to Niall. “You make it next time if you’re going to be so annoying, Zayn.”

Zayn stuck his tongue out at Louis and Niall shook his head. Harry figured he should be laughing or something, but all he could muster was an awkward smile. 

“Oh, hey there,” Louis said, turning to Harry. “Have we met?”

“He’s one of Liam’s best blokes, of course we’ve met,” Niall said, elbowing Louis in the side. “That’s why I invited him to this whole surprise party planning thing.”

“Ahhh, right,” Louis said. “You look familiar. I’m Louis, by the way.”

“Harry,” Harry replied. He extended his hand, offering Louis a limp handshake. 

“Anyways, we decided the venue, but we need someone on decorations. And someone has to invite all the guests,” Zayn said, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. 

“I can, um, I’ll do the guests,” Harry offered. “I, um, know who all his friends are more or less.”

“Perfect,” Niall said. “And I’ll do the decorations. Give me that laptop, Louis, so I can Amazon it up.”

“You did not just use Amazon as a verb,” Zayn groaned. 

“He did, and it’s pretty cringe worthy,” Louis replied. “But not as cringeworthy as your feet on that table. Seriously, Zayn. Are you a child?”

Harry’s eyes drifted from Zayn to Louis and he wondered if anything had ever happened between them at any point. There were definitely some tensions between them, sexual or not, he wasn’t sure. 

“I found silver streamers and this giant sign that says 25!” Niall said, turning his screen to show the others. 

“Oh yes. And can we get glitter?” Louis asked with a grin. “We always need glitter.” 

Harry looked up from the invitation list he was creating on his phone. “Looks good,” he muttered. 

“What’s wrong, Harry, are you not excited?” Zayn asked, his brown eyes quickly examining Harry. 

Harry fidgeted in his seat, tugging at his oversized sweater. “No, I’m excited. Just tired from work. It should be fun, looking forward to the party.”

“That didn’t sound convincing,” Niall snorted. “But okay.”

“So it’s settled, we’re getting the glitter and all that other stuff,” Louis interrupted. “Z, how did it go with the bakery. Did you order the cake?”

“I’ll do it now,” Zayn said, rolling his eyes. He traced the tattoo on the side of his head with delicate fingers before dialing the number and then placing the phone to his ear. “Hi… can I place an order for a cake for Friday? Thank you. Yeah… hold on…Guys, they said we could stop over now since they’re doing samples. Remember how we couldn’t decide between vanilla bean and pistachio?”

“Yeah, let’s fucking go,” Niall said, hopping to his feet. “Free food.” 

“I’m in,” Louis said snapping his laptop shut. 

“Okay, cool,” Zayn said into his phone. “We’ll be there in twenty.”

The guys grabbed their stuff and started to head out of the cafe, but Harry sat there on the couch, completely frozen. 

“Harry, you coming?” Niall asked in confusion. 

“I, um, sorry I just got this text from my friend. He’s, erm, locked out,” Harry said quickly. “I really have to go help him. Let me know how it goes though. And, um, I’ll see you Friday.”

With that, he gathered his messenger bag and sped out of the restaurant, nearly knocking into Zayn and Louis on his way out. 

“What was that about?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned to Niall.

“Dunno,” Niall said. “Said he had to help a friend or something.”

“Strange lad,” Zayn said, clicking his tongue. 

“Sure is,” Louis replied. But he couldn’t help but glance out the window, catching one last glimpse of the lanky, curly haired man rushing down the sidewalk. 

***************

He knew exactly how many steps it took to walk home - 2452, 2453 if he used his cell phone and stopped for a minute. He could tell you that you burn 40 calories for every step walked, so hypothetically speaking, he could burn up to 90 or so calories. That of course is not enough to burn alcohol, not at all. One can of beer contains 154 calories, but who is counting anyway? 

Surely, the walk home burned enough to reduce water weight, right? The mirror didn’t seem to think so. He stripped himself of his daily attire, avoiding all contact as possible. The taunting voice inside of his head told him not to look, he’d want to kill himself if he did as much.

The scale whispered its siren song to him. Check and see your progress for yourself. Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. He had enough discipline lately to say no to almost everything he wanted. The number should reflect that. 

3-23-2018: 160  
3-30-1018: 159.3  
4-7-2018: 155.2  
4-14-2018: 154.3  
4-21-2018: 

“Shit,” He muttered as he glanced down at the number. “That’s it!!”

Harry rummaged through his closet, trying to find gym clothes that were clean. Who cares that it was nearly midnight? This number called for a late night workout session. 

Niall: Did u help ur friend  
Harry: ?  
Niall: ...ur friend...locked out...nvm  
Harry: oh yea sure 

Sighing, Harry shoved his phone under his pillow and laced up his sneakers. Niall definitely thought he was weird and probably didn’t buy his story at all. But it didn’t matter. What mattered right now was getting this workout done. 

Harry tiptoed out of his flat, careful not to wake the neighbors, and then opened the front door to the dark night sky and empty streets. Running at this hour wasn’t the safest, but it was a risk he was willing to take. Even if the number only dropped by a few ounces. 

************  
“What was up with that Harry guy? He stormed out of there,” Louis asked Niall after they finished their cake tasting. 

“Dunno, he seems a bit nervous all the time,” Niall replied, stealing one more sample before they left the bakery. “Not sure why.”

“Yeah, very skittish lad. He wasn’t always like that,” Zayn recalled. “Remember he always used to be the life of the Liam’s parties?”

“Oh, I do remember now. That’s the lad who fell asleep in the pool,” Louis chuckled, as an image of the curly haired man sprawled out on an inflatable pizza float flashed in his mind. 

“That was him, yup,” Niall said with a smile.

“Well, he sure is different now,” Louis replied. “I guess some people change over the years, though. I sure have.”

“Barely,” Zayn cackled. “You’re still the same old chav from freshers.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Louis said, slapping Zayn on the back of the head. 

“Well, I’d love to stay and watch you guys play fight, but I have work in the morning,” Niall said. “See you on Friday!” 

“See you,” Louis replied. “I’m headed off too.”

The three boys headed in separate directions, walking home to their flats. Cleveland wasn’t a huge city, but it had just enough to do without things being overwhelming and perhaps that’s why they liked it so much. 

**********  
“He’s gonna be here soon! His car just pulled up. Quiet,” Zayn said, instructing everyone to crouch down behind the furniture. 

A few minutes later, The doorknob turned and everyone jumped out, turning on the lights. “Surprise!!!” 

“Oh my gosh,” Liam said, nearly stumbling as he held onto the door frame. “Guys! Wow. You scared me.” 

“Happy birthday!” Louis shouted out cheerily. 

“The bit 2 5,” Zayn said, slapping Liam on the back.

“You’re getting old,” Niall giggled.

Some of Liam’s other friends began to come up to him and wish him a happy birthday, but Harry stood in the back, waiting until the crowd had cleared out to say hello.

“Happy birthday, man,” he said when he finally got over to Niall. He handed him a small present wrapped in brown paper, his mouth twisting in a half smile.

“Oh, come here, Harry!” Liam said with a smile. He engulfed the taller lad in a big hug, his muscular frame pressing against Harry’s frail one. “Thank you, mate.” 

“It’s just something small,” Harry said, quickly wriggling out of the hug. “I’m um, gonna use the bathroom. But happy birthday again.” 

Liam smiled, his amber eyes gleaming. “Okay,Haz. Thanks.” 

After everyone greeted Liam, the group started head out to the pub Zayn had picked.


	2. Everything is fucking great

“And then I said to him, ‘Zayn, if the spinner lands on right foot red, you're gonna pull a muscle' and sure enough, there he went...tumbling down as I laughed my ass off,” Louis laughed and his friends joined in.

“One time. Once!” Zayn defended himself. “Tonight, I’ll win. Just watch and see.”

“What about you?” Louis slurred in Harry's direction. “Those long legs any good at twister?”

It was about 3 in the morning and the group of partygoers had just returned to Liam’s flat to play a game of Twister. While most people had gone home, Zayn, Harry, Louis and Niall remained. 

Looking up at Louis, Harry hovered his foot over the green spot. “I… I guess,” he muttered, blushing at the ground. 

“Don't let him fool you, Lou. Harry is the least graceful person in this room!” Liam interjected. 

“I’m hungry,” Niall said upside down, looking at Liam through the open space in his legs. “Anymore cake left?”

“Yeah,” Zayn said, hopping to his feet. “Me too. I’m starved. I’ll get it.” 

Zayn went to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with five slices of cake and five forks. He handed one to each guy, and they all took it happily and began to eat. Well, everyone except for Harry.

“I’m good,” Harry said, handing the cake back to Zayn.

“Huh? Why don’t you want it?” Zayn asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. You didn’t have pizza or cake earlier when we celebrated and you didn’t even drink either. You must be hungry,” Niall said between mouthfuls.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Louis added.

“I’m um… just getting over a stomach bug is all,” Harry said. 

The boys exchanged glances and shrugged, returning their attention to their cake. Liam, however, wagged an eyebrow in Harrys direction. 

“Hey, mate Can we go out on the balcony and talk for a minute,” he asked, putting his empty plate down.

“Yeah, ok. Why?” Harry said.

“Just wanna ask you something,” Liam said. He smoothed his hair back with his hand and then headed out to the balcony, Harry trailing behind him.

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating much— or at all— lately when we hang out,” Liam said after closing the door behind them. “Is everything okay? Are you feeling depressed or something?” 

“Nah,” Harry said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Just stressed from work and all. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Alright, But I’m still kind of worried, Haz, it’s been going on for a while now,” Liam pointed out.

Harry looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. “I know. I’m really working on being better about it. I eat a lot at home, it’s just, you know me and my social anxiety. I don’t really like eating around other people.” 

“It didn’t used to be like that,” Liam said, raising an eyebrow. “You used to chug beers and eat entire boxes of pizza by yourself. What happened?” 

“People change, Liam,” Harry said with a shrug. “Really, I’m doing fine. I would tell you if I wasn’t.” 

“Okay. This isn’t about Rebecca is it?” Liam asked.

“What? Don’t even bring her up,” Harry groaned. “It has nothing to do with her trust me.” 

“Okay, whatever you say, styles,” Liam said, heading back to the game.

“Li,” Harry called, running after him. 

“What?” Liam asked.

Harry punched him in the arm. “24 birthday punches!!”

Liam gave Harry a sheepish grin before returning to go back inside with the others. Harry let out a breath he had been holding, glad that the awkward conversation was over with. It wasn’t until about 15 minutes later, he decided to rejoin them as well. 

“Where’ve you been?” Louis slurred, patting Harry on the back as he re entered the living room. He was holding a bottle of champagne, and clearly had more than a few swings since Harry had last seen him.” 

“Oh, talking with Liam. And then I was just, um, getting some fresh air,” Harry said quietly.

“You seem tense,” Louis giggled, swinging the bottle. “Want some?” 

Harry shook his head. “Not drinking tonight. Stomach ache, remember?” 

Louis nodded and handed the bottle to Niall who drank a sip eagerly. 

“If you don’t eat or drink….Wanna smoke?” Louis asked, taking a pack of camels out of his back pocket. 

Harry shrugged. Nicotine was one of the few things he put into his system these days. “Sure.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Louis beamed. The pair began to head outside to the street, and Louis flicked his lighter, bringing it up to Harry’s cigarette. “You’re missing out on that cake. Bebe’s Bakery has the best cakes. She made this especially for Liam and I asked her to put a little more of vanilla than she usually does.” 

“Oh yeah?” Harry took a long drag on his cigarette. “Real vanilla bean?”

“But of course, no imitation. You should try it,” Louis said, watching his ashes freefall to the floor. “Not to be pushy or anything. It’s just never as good the next day, you know?” 

“Yeah….” Harry awkwardly swayed on his feet. “I probably will.” 

Louis tugged at the seam of his shirt, catching the tense atmosphere in the air. “Well, you seem a little off tonight. Do you know what always makes me feel better?” Louis asked nonchalantly as Harry nodded, a smoke ring floating in the air. “Glitter! Hold out your wrist!”

Harry smiled, curiously flipping his wrist over. Louis was digging for something in his pocket, revealing a glistening vile of roll-on glitter often used at raves. “Perfect. Doesn’t that make you feel happy?” 

“I love it,” Harry said dryly, twisting his wrist to watch the glitter shimmer off the moonlight. 

Louis gave him a stern look. “Well you don’t have to lie! What works for me doesn’t work for you. It was worth a shot. Although, I do think you could use some around your collarbone. Come here,” He motioned Harry to lean in as his cigarette dangled lazily between his lips. “If that doesn’t make you happy, you’re utterly broken.”

“Shattered,” Harry winked at him. 

“Hmm. I’m going to figure you out, Styles. Just need the right setting….maybe I’ll ask you out sometime.”

Harry half-smiled. He wanted to hold his own, not be defeated by the likes of the well-known Sass Master from Doncaster. “Maybe I’ll say no.” 

“Doubtful,” Louis turned on his heel, putting out his cigarette on the sidewalk and walking away. 

Harry stayed outside for awhile, unsure what to make of the lad with the Yorkshire accent. He was certainly something else. Very cute, very sassy. He wore tight grey skinny jeans and a ripped muscle tank without a jacket, even though it was almost October. And his blue eyes looked exquisite beneath the moonlight. His jaw was perfectly sculpted….

But no. Harry could not get involved romantically involved with him. He couldn’t get involved romantically with anyone really. He had too many dirty little secrets to keep. And there was no way he was letting anyone get tangled up in his mess.

Eventually, Harry went back inside and said goodbye to Liam.

“You’re not gonna sleep over?” Liam asked, clearly disappointed. “All the lads are.”

“Yeah, slumber party!” Niall said, tossing a pillow in Zayn’s direction. 

“Fuck you,” Zayn grunted, tossing the pillow back. 

“I… I would but I have work early,” Harry said quietly. 

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Tomorrow’s Sunday. And Monday is a national holiday.”

“I have work to catch up on, and um, plans later in the day,” Harry explained. “So morning is the only time for it.” 

“Enough of the babbling, the lad clearly doesn’t like us,” Zayn scoffed. “No need for the elaborate excuses, Styles. Just say it.”

“No it’s really not that,” Harry said, looking over at Louis, whose hands were on his hips in agitation. 

“What else could it be then? Use my laptop in the morning if you have to Harry,” Liam said. “It’s my birthday for god’s sake. Can’t I just spend some time with my best mates?”

“I.. okay,” Harry said, hesitantly. “But I didn’t bring pajamas.”

“Neither did we,” Louis said. “I sleep in my boxers.”

Harry’s face turned red and he looked at Liam for support. “You can borrow a pair of mine. Let’s go get them.”

“Try not to get that glitter on my shirt,” Liam teased as he tossed Harry a pair of pajamas his grandmother got him for Christmas last year. Plaid is always in season anyway.

Instinctively, Harry ran his fingers over his collarbone, transferring some of the pink sparkly substance to his fingers. 

“Thanks for letting me borrow these,” Harry smiled as Liam exited the room. 

He rushed over to the door, making sure it was locked before unzipping his jeans and toeing off his boots. He tried to not look at himself in the mirror that laid on top of the dresser. 

He tugged the grey shirt over his head, instantly wrapping his arms around his waist in disgust. He hated the way the fabric was clinging to his love handles. He slipped on the plaid bottoms, hating the way they made his backside look enormous. It was disgusting really. He could never verbalize the defeating lump in his throat when he walked into the common area, everyone laughing and being carefree.

He nested himself on a empty spot in the floor, opposite Louis who was platonically using Niall as a chair.

“Off me, Tommo!” Niall said playfully trying to push Louis off his lap.

“but my ass is royalty. You don't want it to sit on the floor, do you?” Louis pouted before getting up, trying to find someone else who would offer their lap.

“Go sit on Harry, he looks like he could use some cuddling. All stiff in the corner like that,” Zayn said with a chuckle. 

Harry shot Zayn a horrified look, but before he knew it, Louis was sauntering over, plopping down onto his lap. 

“Ah, you’re the perfect chair,” Louis giggled, leaning back on him. 

It’s because I’m so fat. Ugh, my fat is like a fucking cushion, Harry thought to himself, grimacing as Louis pressed deeper onto his legs. 

“Harry does not look comfy,” Niall said, waving for Louis to get off. 

“Ugh, fine,” Louis huffed. He got off and sat down on the floor, pouting and folding his arms over his chest. “You guys are no fun.”

“We are so fun,” Liam said defensively. “To prove it, why don’t we play a game. I have the perfect one planned…..”

“Yes!!” Louis exclaimed as his brain channeled the same wave. “I'll get the cards!” 

“Wait what are we doing?” Harry asked nervously. 

“You’ll see,” Zayn said with a sneaky smile.

Louis came back a little while later and handed out the cards. “It’s strip poker!”

Harry swallowed thickly, hoping that he misheard him. But when the game got started and Niall began to remove his shirt after losing a round, he knew Louis wasn’t making things up.

“I, um, have to go to the bathroom,” Harry said, getting up and leaving .

“Looks like somebody doesn’t wanna get undressed,” Zayn whispered to Niall as they watched him leave. 

Once in the bathroom, Harry locked the door and began to splash cold water on his face. “I am so fucked,” he muttered. 

It hadn’t even been a minute before someone knocked on the door. 

“Open up, I need a wee,” Zayn whined. 

Sighing, Harry opened the door and headed out, noticing Zayn’s sneaky smile as he burst into the bathroom. 

“Harold, you’re back!” Niall said, excitedly. “Show your hand!” 

Harry feigned a smile and took his deck of cards, pulling out his two best cards and placing them on the table. 

“Oi! Time to strip,” Louis hooted, waiting for the strip tease. He himself was already reduced to nothing but his boxers and one sock, and Liam had no shirt. Niall was one step away from being fully naked, wearing nothing more than his tighty whities.

“I, um, I’ll take off this bracelet,” Harry said, sliding it off his wrist. 

“No, Harry, you have to strip! That’s why it’s called STRIP poker,” Niall said. 

“I… do I have to?” Harry asked, his eyes widening. 

“Come on, now, stop being so difficult,” Liam said, wagging a finger. 

“Yeah, what are you hiding under that baggy shirt anyways?” Louis questioned. 

“Here, I’ll help,” Niall said, tugging at the hem of the shirt.

As soon as Niall started to touch him, Harry jolted back, nearly smacking Niall in the process. But Niall had swift hands, and he was able to tug the shirt off just before Harry pulled away. 

Now, Harry stood there, completely mortified with his bare torso exposed to the group. Barely able to breathe, he remained paralyzed for a moment. Then, he slowly turned towards Niall, grabbing the shirt back and making a mad dash for the bathroom. 

Just as he did so, however, he crashed into Zayn, who was returning from the toilet. 

“Hello, there, you shirtless little lad,” Zayn said, blocking him and grabbing the shirt out of his hands. “It’s about time you lost.”

“Fuck you,” Harry growled. He folded his arms over his torso, trying to cover it and glared at Zayn, who smiled back at him. “You’re the reason I had to strip. You switched my cards while I was in the bathroom. Give me my fucking shirt back.”

“Maybe I did switch the cards,” Zayn said. “But we all need to have a little fun sometimes. Lighten up, Styles. You can go without your shirt a little longer.”

“Oh that’s it,” Harry said. He lunged towards Zayn, ready to throw a punch, but felt something catch his arm.

He turned around to find Louis behind him, holding him back, along with Niall. Liam had rushed around the corner, grabbing Zayn. 

“Hold the fuck up,” Niall said. “Harry, stop.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Louis asked as Harry strained against his grip. “You didn’t even drink….”

“I don’t…. Don’t wanna be shirtless,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “Let go of me. Let go.”

“Not until you tell us why you were about beat up Zayn,” Liam said.

“I… oh my god, I fucking hate all of you,” Harry said. He tossed his head back, trying to blink away his tears. 

“Spit it out, Bambi,” Zayn said with a grin.

“Oh my god,” Harry huffed. “I already told you, I really really don’t like to be shirtless.”

“Since when? Weren’t you the one who ran the naked mile during second year of uni?” Niall snorted. 

“Since it’s none of your business,” Harry said. “Can you please just let me go?”

“Maybe it’s because he’s lost weight, lost some muscle,” Liam guessed. “Is that it Harry? And you’re on a diet too, right?”

“It’s not… oh my god, can you seriously let go of me,” Harry said, turning and trying to elbow Louis. 

“Calm the fuck down,” Louis said, releasing him. 

“Harry, we’re just trying to talk to you,” Liam said. “Seriously, calm down.”

“I’m calm,” Harry said. “Perfectly calm.”

“Then why are there tears in your eyes?” Zayn asked. 

“Okay, Zayn, enough. Go in the kitchen,” Liam said, pushing him in that direction before another altercation broke out. 

“I’ll go with him,” Niall said, following after. “Make sure he stays in there.”

“So what’s the problem with being shirtless?” Liam asked, sitting down on the couch. 

“Why does it matter? It’s your birthday, I already ruined it enough… I don’t want to make things weird Liam, we can talk about this some other time?” Harry pleaded. 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Liam replied. “You just got really upset and we’re trying to figure out why. You haven’t been yourself the whole night.”

“It’s nothing,” Harry said, turning away.

“Whenever someone says it’s nothing, it’s definitely something,” Louis said. “Come on, lad. Just tell us. We’re your friends.”

Harry looked from Liam to Louis, taking in their facial features. They looked so kind, so trust worthy. Too bad he couldn’t trust them. Not with a secret like this. 

Liam grabbed a blanket and handed it to Harry, who immediately wrapped it around his torso. “Thanks,” he said. 

“So what’s wrong with being shirtless? And eating cake? And drinking? Those are all things you used to love, Haz,” Liam said, worried. “Is it depression?”

“No, I don’t know,” Harry said, gazing at the ground. 

“Maybe you’re overstressed or something,” Louis suggested. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, work is pretty stressful. Haven’t really been myself since I started that job. Long hours and all.”

“But that still doesn’t make sense…..” Liam said skeptically. “Doesn’t dieting just make you more stressed?”

“Oh yeah, true,” Louis agreed. “Sorry, I’m a little drunk still.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Harry admitted. “I don’t know why. Sorry for getting all crazy… Just really overtired, haven’t slept in days.”

“So it’s insomnia?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Harry shot him a dirty look. “Why don’t you stop trying to diagnose me. Fucking Freudian wannabe over here. Jesus.”

“Woah,” Louis said, putting his hands in the air defensively. “Sorry.”

“Louis, why don’t you go in the kitchen with the others,” Liam said, shooting Louis a sympathetic Look.

“Whatever,” Louis said. “I took four psychology courses in uni. But you know, if you don’t want my help…. That’s perfectly fine.”

Once Louis was gone, Liam turned to Harry with pleading eyes. “Seriously, Harry, I’m not gonna let this go. Whether you tell me tonight or not. I’m not going to forget.”

“Alright,” Harry said stiffly. 

“Do you wanna talk?” Liam asked. 

“Not really,” Harry replied. He left the room and headed to the guest room, ignoring the boys stares and giggles on his way past the kitchen.


	3. Such a good time

“Does my hair look ok?” Louis asked as he straightened out his blanket.

“It's 4 am Lou. Why?” Niall asked eating leftover pizza

Louis shrugged. “Zayn understands,” he pouted as he motioned for Zayn to come in his direction. “I had a bad night. Harry snapped at me,” he whined. “Need attention.”

Liam shook his head as he came in without Harry. “You'd need attention if that didn't happen.”

“I wouldn't worry too much, Lou,” Zayn said petting his hair. “Definitely him and not you.” 

“Hey now!” Liam interjected. “We don't know his story, alright? Let's give him a chance.” He lowered his voice just as Harry entered the room. “You can sit by me, Harry.”

Zayn shrugged, continuing to comfort a bruised ego Louis who was stretched out on his lap. “We should finish our game.” He winked at Harry who began to shift in his seat.

“No. Bedtime!” Liam demanded. 

“Alright, alright…..Daddy. Jesus,” Louis squealed as he grabbed Zayns hand in an attempt to tell him to let it go.

“Daddy!” Niall burst out laughing

“Someone is slap happy “ Zayn rolled his eyes. 

“Need to smoke before bed.Wanna come?” He asked Louis but before Louis could reply, he tugged him to his feet.

“Don't mind him,” Liam said to Harry. “He just went through a bad breakup. Took 4 long years to call it quits but trust me when I say, it was a long time coming.”

“You talking about Zayn and Perrie?” Niall interrupted. “Yeah, that was awful. At least Louis keeps him distracted.”

“If that's what we're calling it these days,” Liam scoffed. “Anyway, Harry, give this group a chance. We’re more understanding than we let on, okay?”

Baffled, Harry nodded. Sleepiness was catching up to him as his body began to feel hungry, anxious, and lethargic all at once. He wasn’t used to have to muster up all this energy, especially emotional energy having to explain himself all night. 

“When’s he gonna cover up that tattoo?” Niall randomly asked as Liam threw a pillow at him.

-  
“Who invited that guy, anyway?” Zayn asked using Louis’ cigarette to light his own.

“Zayn, it’s not that deep,” Louis said getting out his glitter. “Give me your wrist.”

Without protesting, Zayn flipped his wrist over letting Louis cover one side of his Ying-Yang tattoo. 

“Thanks, Love,” Zayn said, grabbing Louis roughly by the waist. 

Louis blushed and pulled away a bit, avoiding his guys.

“Are you rejecting me?” Zayn asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not tonight, Zee. I’m too drunk,” Louis whined.

“That hasn’t been a problem before,” Zayn snickered. 

“Uh, You know we have to stop,” Louis said. He took another drag of the cigarette.

“This is about Styles isn’t it. You want to fuck him?” Zayn said angrily. 

“What?” Louis asked. “Are you insane?” 

“I saw the way you looked at him….” Zayn mumbled.

“I don’t want to fuck Styles, I mean he’s cute, but…” Louis began.

“I told you!” Zayn interrupted.

“Zayn, oh my god. Can you chill tonight? Seriously, why did you fuck with his cards? The kid had a near breakdown over his fucking pajama shirt,” Louis demanded. “That was extremely rude. You knew he was all panicky and fucked up.” 

“I was just having a little fun,” Zayn said with a shrug. “It was a harmless prank. Besides, since when do you care about Styles? You just told me you didn’t.” 

“I don’t! But you kind of ruined the entire night,” Louis said. “It’s like… Liam is not happy.” 

“How is that my fault?” Zayn asked, throwing his hands in the air. “I’m not the one who brought the mentally unstable wack job. He didn’t drink a drop of booze. Maybe he’s on some kind of physiatric drugs that don’t mix!” 

“Wow,” Louis said, shaking his head. “Do you even hear yourself? I’m going inside, Zayn. No wonder Perrie left your insensitive ass. Good for her.” As he walked away, he brushed his fingers over Zayn’s tattoo. “Can’t believe I wasted this glitter on you. Hmmph.”

Louis walked inside the house, observing his seating options. The spot beside Zayn in the floor was free, but then there was the couch, one side unoccupied as Harry lay passed out. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his blanket from Zayn’s little pallet in the floor and stretched his legs out on the L-shaped couch, his feet nowhere near Harry. 

Yet, somehow, Harry could feel his presence, covering his stomach in his sleep with his arms - a gesture that did not go unnoticed to Louis.

“Geez, you’re cold or something, Styles?” He asked as he looked at the knot Harry was laying in. “Here, there’s enough covers for the both of us.” He draped the blanket over the pair of them and shut his eyes. “There.”

When Zayn came in the house, shutting the door aggressively, Niall rolled over quickly pretending to be asleep. 

“Don’t you dare!” Liam warned. 

“What?” He snarkily asked.

“Leave Harry alone, Zayn. He’s going to be a part of this group, okay? You’ll have to learn to deal with it.”

Zayn stuck his tongue out at Liam, laying in the floor. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He growled in Louis’ direction.

“I said don’t,” Liam reiterated. 

“I said don’t,” Zayn mocked as he tossed and turned trying to get comfortable without his temporary fix [hehe 1D song]. 

“You know what Zayn, why don’t you come sleep on the futon in my room,” Liam suggested. 

“Whatever,” Zayn said. He glared at Harry one last time before trotting off to join Liam. “Futon is better than the floor.” 

As soon as he left, Louis perked up, turning to Harry. “Sorry about that, mate. He’s been super rude lately. Bad breakup.” 

“‘S fine,” Harry muttered, lazily. He kept his eyes closed, avoiding Louis’ gaze. But he could still imagine those icy blue irises peering at him in the dark.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, poking him. “Are you going to sleep like that? You look awfully uncomfortable.” 

“Stomach just hurts,” Harry said, rolling onto his side and bringing his knees to his chest. “Gonna sleep It off. I’ll be fine.” 

Louis gave him a skeptical look but began to burrow under the covers of his own. “Okay, Harry. Goodnight.” 

“Night.” 

***************   
Harry woke up to the smell of bacon frying and the sound of a spatula hitting the griddle. 

“Who wants pancakes? Or eggs and bacon?” Zayn sang cheerily. 

Harry woke up, rubbing his eyes. It was nearly noon. How did he let himself sleep that long? He clearly set an alarm for ten so he could get out of there before someone made brunch.

When he took it out of his pocket, he realized it was dead. His phone, like Zayn, had betrayed him.

“Meeee!” Niall shrieked, rising to his feet. 

Louis popped out of bed too, bleary eyed. His bed head looked adorable and when he rubbed his eyes, Harry smiled. 

But then he remembered the bacon. And the pancakes. And the milk and the butter and the oil that went into making them. And his smile twisted into a frown, his stomach lurching at the thought of consuming such a greasy, slovenly meal. 

“Sorry, gotta run,” Harry said, quickly grabbing his bag. “Like i said, lots of work to catch up on. Liam, happy birthday. See you guys!!” 

“Thanks,” Liam replied as he watched Harry go. He knew better than to stop him. This was a problem to address another time. Preferably when Zayn wasn’t in the same state as them.

“Zayn!” Niall said, slapping him in the back of the head. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“Nothing! What’s wrong with you? A lad can’t make breakfast for his mates? Well excuse me,” Zayn scoffed, taking off his apron.

“You never cook,” Louis said. “You were trying to upset Harry.” 

“How?” Zayn asked.

“Cause you know he’s afraid of food and you made this huge breakfast,” Liam quipped. 

“It’s not my fault he’s out of his mind,” Zayn snorted. “A man who starves himself? How pathetic. He’s not even that thin…”

Liam nearly dropped the cup of coffee he was holding. Louis and Niall looked at each other, eyes wide. 

“Get out,” Liam whispered.

“The fuck? I didn’t do anything,” Zayn whined.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out,” Liam repeated, this time, taking a step closer.

Zayn wasn’t scared of many things, but an enraged Liam would definitely have to be at the top of the list. Nodding, he placed the pan down and ran to the bedroom to get his things.

“Im sorry,” he said quietly.

“Fuck you are,” Liam replied. “Just go.” 

Zayn stormed off, slamming the door behind him. Louis turned to Niall and mouthed ‘damn,’ before scampering to the bathroom.

“Well, that was… rude,” Niall said, shooting Liam a sympathetic look. 

“Beyond rude,” Liam huffed as he chewed on a pancake. “Remind me again why the fuck we’re friends with him.”

“Because he’s chill,” Louis said with a shrug as he came back to the kitchen. “Or he used to be, before the whole Perry thing.”

“Oh, come on, it’s been months since that happened,” Liam replied. “And either way, that’s no excuse to bash Harry the way he did.”

“I think he’s just jealous of Harry,” Niall suggested. He put some eggs on his plate and took a seat next to Louis. “You guys were out smoking for an awfully long time…”

Louis’ face blushed red. “What? Literally nothing happened! He barely spoke to me.”

“I see,” Liam replied. “Well, either way, you were fucking Zayn and now you’re not so I’m sure he’s mad about that. Maybe he was taking his anger out on Harry.”

“Ugh, can we just not talk about Zayn,” Louis said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “We have such a weird history.”

“That you do,” Niall chuckled. “Anyways, let’s put on the golf game.”

Louis and Liam both looked at each other, groaning. And then went to the living room to watch footie instead.


	4. Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong

Buttoning his lab coat and zipping up his boots, Harry gave himself a quick glance over before exiting the employee bathroom. He didn’t particularly want to be there, not today. When he smiled, the corners of his lips cracked open a little bit. A simple drink of water would fix that, but was it worth the disgusting feeling of being bloated? 

“Styles, new shipment,” His boss called out as he walked down the corridor.

“Thanks,” Harry humbly stated, though he was only half present. 

Maybe I can go on a walk during lunch. 

Inventory was always the worst part of the job, at least lately. He had broken more beakers and test tubes than he could keep count. Sweaty, clumsy hands were at fault, but it didn’t stop everyone from looking at him at the loud crash. 

“That’s gonna come out of your salary next time,” they’d joke. He’d laugh along with them, secretly wishing to disappear. 

 

“Okay, so 150 cylinders,” Harry hummed to himself as he marked the supplies off the shipment order.

“Hey Styles,” Dr. Fallon said as he stood in front of Harry, his feet crossed. “We’re going to order pizza for lunch. Wanna chip in?”

Pizza. 

Harry swallowed thickly and wiped at the sweat forming on his brow. “I’m, sure I’ll chip in.” 

He handed Dr. Fallon a 5$ bill and he took it, adding it to the collection envelope. 

“Meet in the break room at 12pm. Do you want any special toppings?” He said.

“No,” Harry replied, almost a bit too quickly. 

“Okay. Cheese it is,” Dr. Fallon said, walking back to his work station.

Harry went back to work as well, inhaling sharply as he hunched over his lab bench. He was working with toxic chemicals and was supposed to be paying close attention, but how could he when his heart was racing at the speed of sound.

Pizza. He hadnt eaten pizza in…. what? Four months? Maybe five? His back arched and his shoulders stiffened at just the thought of putting it to his lips. Sacrificing months worth of progress for a single bite of the greasy meal.

What was really bothering him, though, wasn’t the pizza. It was his coworkers. Even though he gave in to the donation, he didn’t actually plan to eat the pizza. The first few times it happened, nobody noticed. But now they were starting to catch on. And Harry could only pray that no one would say anything today.

Over the past few months, Harry had used every excuse in the book to get out of eating at social events, from stomach troubles to claiming he had eaten beforehand to simply saying he didn’t like that type of food. 

Initially, it worked. But now it was getting increasingly harder to get away with it, and he was running out of excuses. Liam had picked up on his eating habits lately and that was a discussion he was dreading having. He didn’t need another one with a coworker. 

“Styles, aren’t you coming down. It’s almost noon,” Dr. Fallon called from his bench. 

“Right,” Harry said. He placed his samples in the centrifuge and turned it on, nearly tripping over his own shoes in the process. Working with chemicals while dizzy and lightheaded wasn’t a safe idea in the slightest. But he was always feeling dizzy these days. What was he going to do? Stay home? 

“Harry, how goes it?” A coworker, Jen, asked.

“Good,” Harry replied. 

“That’s good. Anything new?” Jen asked. 

Harry shrugged. “Um, no.” 

“Just the same old?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. Just work and life and stuff. Had a party last week, my friend Liam’s birthday. A surprise thing,” Harry explained. 

“Ah, how was it?” She said. 

“It was, um. Yeah fun. He had fun,” Harry replied. 

“Sounds great. I love birthday parties,” Jen said with a smile. “The food, the cake, the booze. Delicious.” 

“Me too,” Harry said, arching his cheek muscles into a smile. “It’s all so good.” 

“Well, have some pizza, why don’t you?” Jen said, opening the box. 

Harry nodded and slowly took the slice from her, inspecting the orange grease coating the cheese. 

“Sure,” Harry reassured himself. I can do this. 

He started to take a bite of the pizza, but immediately felt his heart rate quicken and his stomach clench as he put it in his mouth. He felt the eyes of his coworkers staring at him, watching him greedily stuff his face. He was so gross, so huge. He didn’t need to be eating pizza… it was a disgrace. 

Cheeks aflame, Harry grabbed a napkin and began to spit out the bite he had taken. He tossed it in the trash quickly, hoping he was being discrete about it.

“You don’t like it?” Dr. Fallon asked.

Harry shook his head profusely. “No, I like It. It’s good.” 

“Then why did you spit it out?” He asked, deadpan.

“Um… I, think I might be sick,” Harry said. “I haven’t been feeling well all day. I think, if you don’t mind sir, I might just leave now because I feel sick to my stomach.” 

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Dr. Fallon replied. “Go ahead.” 

Harry didn’t hesitate to rush out of the room, heading up to the lab to gather his things. He had tons of work to accomplish today and leaving early was the last thing he should be doing. Lying to his boss was also a risky venture. But at the end of the day, he couldn’t get over his rapidly beating chest, his crawling skin, his labored breathing. 

And so he left, speedwalking out of the lab and down the street. He didn’t stop until he got to his apartment, where he collapsed against the door, soft sobs escaping his lips. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
“Dude, no,” Liam dismissed Niall’s idea.

“And why not?” Niall asked adjusting his visor. 

“Because our little get together went so well last night, may I remind you,” He rolled his eyes.

“Well all I’m saying is, it’s worth a shot. I think Harry would fit in with us if we showed him our fun side, and maybe left Zayn at home. Oh come on. What would it hurt?” Niall raised an eyebrow as Liam sighed in defeat.

“Okay, okay. We can go bowling but we need to chill out. So much tension. I hate it!”

Before Niall could reply, familiar faces walked in. “Hate what?” Louis questioned adjusting his top, looking in the mirror. “Think I need some glitter on my cheekbones. What do you think?”

Liam and Niall shrugged. 

“Oh, fuck you guys,” he said waving his hand in the air. “Gonna be late for my gig. You all can come if you want.”

“Even me?” Zayn asked as he grabbed his keys off the counter. 

“I suppose,” Louis hesitantly replied. “But I’m inviting Harry. Chow!” he waved as he walked out the door. “See y at 9 tonight!”

***************  
“Who’s ready to be destroyed!” Niall shouted as he ran up to the bowling alley, clad in his bowling shirt and shoes. 

“Not me, you’re going down,” Liam laughed, following after him. “I’m going to get a pitcher of beer. Which type do you all want?”

“Hmm…. let me thik. Guinness, since when do ever have anything else?” Zayn said with a dry smile. 

“Well, I know that’s what we usually get, but Harry is new to the group. Are you good with Guinness lad?” 

“Yup,” Harry said, tying up his bowling shoe.  
“Okay, great, now go get it,” Louis ushered him. “I need something to drink before we start this horrendous game. You know I hate sports.”

“Bowling is hardly a sport,” Zayn snickered. “Like golf.”

“Hey!” Niall snapped, slapping him on the back of the head. “Just for that, I’m putting you down as Piss Face in the game lineup.”

“So mature,” Zayn replied, rolling his eyes. He took a seat on the bench next to Louis, eyeing Harry warily. 

“I’m baaaack,” Liam sang, putting the pitcher on the table. “I got cheese fries and nachos too. Any two appetizers free with a pitcher tonight!” 

“Mental!” Niall said, rushing to grab the cheese fries. Louis followed after him and took a nacho to dip in the cheese. 

“Mmm, looks delicious,” Zayn said with a smile. “Right Harry?”

Harry squirmed uneasily in his seat, but nodded. “Looks good.”

“Alright,” Liam said quickly, walking up to the alley. “I’ll start.” 

He rolled the ball down the alley, knocking down all of the pins but one. 

“Close!” Niall said between sips of beer. 

“I’ll go,” Harry offered, after Liam finished up, scoring a spare. 

He walked down the alley and began to throw the ball, but his arm bend at a strange angle, and he threw an immediate gutter ball. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself. “I usually play with bumpers.”

“Bumpers?” Zayn snickered. “How old are we?”

“Good question,” Louis snapped. “Says the person who is wearing a Tshirt with a cartoon character on it. Go sit down.”

Zayn shot Louis a dirty look and retreated to the snack table, coming back with two beers. Harry, who was finishing up with his second gutter ball, nearly jumped as Zayn handed one of the beers to him.

“Oh, thanks,” Harry said. “But I’m not really in the mood to drink tonight.”

“Suit yourself,” Zayn said a smirk. “You’ll probably change your mind when you see how bad we crush you.”

Harry’s face fell as Zayn walked away, but Louis grabbed him by arm, his bottom lip jutting out. “Don’t listen to him. He’s bitter over his breakup. You’re not that bad. I prefer to play with bumpers anyways.”

“Thanks,” Harry said quietly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his loose jeans. “But I really do suck.”

“Nonsense,” Louis said. “I just knocked down two pins back there. What do you say we have our own game with bumpers? It’s only 10$. I’ll go get it set up.”

“Umm --” Harry began. But Louis was already gone. 

When he returned, he handed Harry a ticket and walked over to the alley next to the one the other boys were using.

“We’re playing a different game over here,” Louis called to them. “Bumpers are better. Anyone care to join?”

“We’re good,” Liam said. “Have fun, though.”


	5. Just one more pint or five

Sighing, Harry went to grab the ball. Sometimes he wished there was an off button for his thoughts. 

******** 

“This is gonna be lit!” Zayn shouted from the back of the Uber. 

Louis had left bowling to go set up at the club an hour ago, so now Harry was wedged into an Uber with Zayn, Liam and Niall. 

“Should be fun,” Harry smiled from his uncomfortable spot in the middle seat.

“That’s the spirit! What’s gotten into you, lad?” Niall said slapping his thigh.

“Alcohol,” Harry giggled. When he didn’t finish his beer, Louis offered him a shot, and things sort of went down hill from there.

And yeah, yeah, Harry knew alcohol was liquid calories. Which is why he didn’t plan on keeping them down tonight. If he drank enough, he would usually throw up anyways. So it wasn’t all too difficult. 

Now, four shots deep, he was feeling the effects. He was relaxed, uninhibited. Well, not entirely. But more than he usually was. Enough to have fun. 

“I like drunk Harry,” Niall laughed.

“I second that, mate,” Zayn said with a snarky smile. “Here, lad. Have some of my moonshine.” 

Harry looked at the flask in Zayns hand warily before deciding to take a swig.

“What, no!” Liam said, turning around from his spot in the front seat. “It tastes so bad. Don’t drink it!” 

It wasn’t long before Harry was opening the window, spitting the vile liquid out onto the street as Zayn cackled next to him.

“Very funny,” Harry said, rolling his eyes. 

“Good thing we’re here,” Niall replied. “Now I can pour some of that drink on your head.”

“Hey, give it here!” Zayn shouted as Niall swiped the flask from him.

The four boys hopped out of the car and headed towards the club… or what they thought was the club.

“Why is this a diner?” Niall asked, confused, after pouring a drip of Zayn’s concoction onto his head.

“wanker!” Zayn grumbled.

“Shhhh….It’s a speakeasy,” Liam whispered. “Followed my lead.” 

“Hi,” he said, entering the diner. “Can We use the telephone?” 

“Why the fuck would we need to…” Zayn began. But Liam put his finger to his lips and waved them towards the phone booth.

“Get in,” Liam said, rolling his eyes as the other boys dawdled around. 

Liam began to dial a number into the phone and then closed the door. The floor of the phone booth slowly began to descend. 

“What the…?” Harry screamed. 

“It’s an elevator,” Niall said, laughing. “That’s so mental.” 

“Mental indeed,” Liam replied. They seemed to have reach the bottom because they heard a clicking sound and then the door opened.

“Welcome to Ego,” a woman replied, sliding the door open for them. 

The boys stared in awe as they took in the scene around them. Rainbow lights flashed around them, bouncing off the metallic walls and illuminating the caged dancers who twirled above them in feathery costumes.

Around them, modern furniture adorned the lounge area, with cubelike tables and a couch that was shaped like a pair of lips. Handsome, rich looking people lounged upon them, drinks in hand as they made small talk.

And then, in the far left corner, they saw him. Louis, clad in cutoff Nike shorts and a zip down tank top hoodie, hovering his hands over the DJ booth with the utmost concentration. 

“Louuuu!” Liam said, waltzing over to him.

“Do I know you?” Louis said, looking up from the dials in front of him. “I am absolutely not playing another Halsey song.” 

“But I love Closer,” Niall joked. 

“Fuck off,” Louis giggled. “Have trouble finding this place?” 

“It was super easy,” Harry giggled, waving his hand carelessly.

“Harry! You made it,” Louis said with a smile. “Someone enjoyed their drinks.” 

“Yup,” he replied, blushing.

“Well, why not get a few more, then,” Zayn suggested, pointing to the bar. “Where’s Posty, by the way?” 

“He’ll be out later. We’ve been working on a little…. collab lately. I think we’re gonna perform it tonight,” he said with a wink. 

“That’s so sick!” Liam replied. 

“Should be,” Louis said, readjusting his headphones on his ears. “Anyways, I gotta get back to work. I’ll text you guys when Posty is ready.” 

“Sounds good,” Niall replied. “Time for more drinks!” 

He headed towards the bar, followed by Liam and Harry. But Zayn hung back at the DJ booth.

“Wow,” Zayn said. He sighed and stretched his hands out behind his head. “Replacing me with him… that’s a low blow.” 

“I’m working Zayn,” Louis shouted over the music, which was a tasteful blend of pop and alternative music. “Can’t hear you.” 

“Whatever, I mean if you have to get him drunk just to talk to you, I would say that’s a bad sign,” Zayn continued. “But that’s just me.” 

“Can’t hear you.” 

“He’s a lost cause. Fucking anxiety ridden freak if I ever saw one. Couldn’t even eat a fry,” Zayn snorted.

At that instant, Louis’ eyes rose up, locking with Zayns brown orbs. The music stopped and Louis motioned for Zayn to move closer.

“You mess with Styles, you mess with me,” he growled. “You understand that? I’m not fucking around.” 

“Whatever, whatever,” Zayn said with a shrug.

“Not whatever,” Louis replied, taking off his headphones. “Quit bullying the lad. I’m serious. You have no business doing that to him.” 

“He can’t handle a few jokes, then that’s his problem,” Zayn replied.

“Suit yourself,” Louis replied. “You don’t want to stop your rude behaviors, I’ll just have to make a phone call….”

“You wouldn’t!” He shouted.

“Try me,” Louis replied, smiling politely.

Zayn curled his hands into fists and stormed away, the soft sound of Selena Gomez music trailing behind him.


	6. Going Out Every Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What....an update of this old thing? Well, we sure as hell did!

“Do you have the playlist?” Louis’ boss approached him. He was an intimidating character with tattoos on his face, neck, and arms. His smile did not look ordinary either for they were encased with gold braids. However, his eyes gave his gentleness away.

“Coming up!” Louis hummed, nearly jumping over the table to hand over the flash drive. “I have a special song on here for someone. Don’t skip it!” 

“OoO. Bet I can tell who it is!” Liam exclaimed. “In fact, look!” He pointed his finger toward a large crowd.   
Louis spotted Niall and Harry instantly, noticing how Harry was hugged up against himself, arms protecting his chest. He looked small somehow, a scowl on his lips. Niall, on the other hand, was the exact opposite with a drink in hand - fist pumping the air.

“Even I can see who it is from here,” Louis’ boss laughed. “Curly hair?”

“Shut up, Post!” Louis playfully punched Post in the arm. “Give me a lollipop. You’re making me nervous.”

On command, Post opened his blazer to reveal a slew of lollipops in all sorts of assortments and varieties. Louis put a quarter in the pocket of Post’s jacket and picked a strawberry lollipop to pacify his oral fixation. 

Louis zoned in on Harry, though his demeanor did not look inviting. In fact, it was as if Harry was going to scurry away at any second. Louis knew that this was his only chance to talk to him before he ghosted. 

“Louis, hey!” Zayn slurred. “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m such a dick sometimes, aren’t I?” He wrapped his arm around Louis’ waist. “But I want to make it up to you. I miss us time, you + me, me + you….”

Louis gave Zayn a half-smile. “Maybe later,” he twirled his lollipop around in his mouth, eyeing Harry. “Right now, I have a special mission in mind.”

He rushed past Zayn and hopped over his DJ booth, repositioning himself behind his laptop. “Are you fucking ready???!!” 

The crowd cheered and Louis smiled as he saw even Harry clapping his hands in anticipation.

“Make some fucking noise for….. POST MALONE!!!!” 

Post ran out from where he was hiding behind the stage, microphone in hand. The song rockstar began to play and he brought the mic to his lips, stroking his scraggly beard. 

“Ayy, I've been fuckin' hoes and poppin' pillies  
Man, I feel just like a rockstar,” he sang.

His voice was husky and powerful, filling the room with its deep reverberating sound. Louis slammed on his computer keys and mirrored Post Malone’s voice with a low beat followed by higher, sharper EDM sounds.

“Damn, This is his best show yet!” Liam cried as Post Malone jumped on top of the Dj booth. He grabbed a beer from behind the desk and began to chug it as the song reached a lull. The crowd went wild and shoved their drinks in the air, chugging with him.

“Having fun?” Niall asked Harry, who was still awkwardly fidgeting with his arms.

“Yeah,” Harry said nodding. His long locks shook along his back and Niall feigned a smile.

“Let me get you a few more drinks,” Niall replied. “You were having a lot more fun before.” 

“Yeah, think it started to wear off,” Harry chuckled.

“He’s so tall, probably has a higher tolerance than the rest of us,” Zayn quipped.

Niall rolled his eyes and swatted Zayn on his way to he bar.

At this point, Post had moved on to a slower song, his face softening as the mood turned somber.

“This one is dedicated to the bitch who broke my heart,” Post told the crowd. “Fuck you!” 

“I fall apart, my favorite song!” Liam squealed, mouthing along to the lyrics.

“Oh, get over yourself, fanboy. You’ve seen him perform tons of times,” Zayn snapped.

“Someone’s in a mood,” Liam replied, elbowing him. “Don’t rain on my parade just because you’re unhappy with your own life.” 

“Never said I was unhappy,” Zayn growled. He slunk towards the back of the crowd, leaving Liam alone with Harry. 

“This is a great song,” Harry said shyly, moving a bit closer to Liam. 

“Right?” Liam shouted over the crowd. “It’s a mental fuck You to every ex ever!” 

“Ha,” Harry said. He smoothed his hair back, pulling his curls into a loose ponytail. “Yeah it’s deep.” 

“Here’s your drink. Whiskey on the rocks,” Niall said as he rejoined the group. “Saw Zayn sulking in the corner. Told him to piss off if he’s gonna act like a wanker To everyone.” 

“Thanks for the drink,” Harry said. He tilted his head back, downing nearly half of it at once. 

Ooh, I fall apart  
Down to my core  
Ooh, I fall apart  
Down to my core

Harry closed his eyes, taking in the music. The words were powerful, cleansing almost. He had heard the song dozens of times on the radio but never thought much about the actual meaning of it until now.

As he sipped on his whiskey, occasionally conversing with Niall, Harry started to calm down. He stood up taller, allowing his long arms to relax at his sides. He listened to the music, he swayed, he danced a bit. 

Sometime between the song change and his second whiskey, he became aware that something had changed. The music stopped and Niall and Liam were looking at him, eyebrows raised. 

“I wanna take the time to thank my DJ, Dr. Lou,” Post said, breaking the silence. “Lou, thank you so much buddy for coming to all my shows. I believe he wants to play a special song for y’all. Get up here man!!” 

Harry stared as Louis climbed out of the DJ booth and joined Post at the center of the room. He could feel the ground beneath him shaking suddenly. Were the lights getting brighter? Why did the smell of alcohol suddenly become more potent? 

“Harry?” Niall asked gingerly, guiding him to an exit. “You okay?”

“Um….” He looked at the ground, swaying on his feet. “I think I’m going to call an Uber or something. Must’ve had too much to drink,” He tried to laugh but even he recognized how artificial it sounded. 

“Nonsense!” Niall chirped. “You can come over to mine! Let’s just go back inside and tell the others!” 

Shrugging, Harry tried to find his balance once again. He made eye contact with Louis who had a concerned look on his face as he rushed off the stage. “You okay?” 

“He’s fine,” Niall dismissed. “Too much to drink is all. Needs more hydration I bet. Sick set tonight, Lou, but we gotta bail.”

“Totally understand!” Louis yelled over the music. “I’ll see you guys around!”


End file.
